Underestimating Faith

She doesn't like the questions, 

because to her and her mother before her,

faith is something private, personal,

experienced in actions 

not explained in words.

Still, she allows the questions

because, maybe, she wishes she had 

asked more of her own mother.

And so she answers the best she knows how.

Which is perfect.

She helps us imagine her

as a young girl. long hair in braids, 

sitting with her mother Sunday after Sunday, 

in a church that did little to nourish her soul.

(But perhaps it taught her 

that showing up is the first step.)

The sermons, as she remembers,

did not even begin to unlock 

the mysteries of the Divine for her.

But she discovered them later.

God does that. 

Small beginnings, one after another -

a year at a Christian college, 

then a class at the University of Iowa, 

that looked at the Bible as literature.

God's word disguised 

as a Humanities credit.

God does that too.

Married in her husband's childhood church, 

they moved around too much in the early

years of life together

to join a congregation of their own.

She tells us of visiting St. Andrews the first time.

remembering the cold metal folding chairs 

in the fellowship hall

(there was no sanctuary at that time).

She recalls the screaming kids

the chaos of that first visit.

She did not plan to go back.

Funny thing is, that's where they ended up.

And it was then that her faith deepened 

with Bible studies, women's retreats, 

singing in the choir, 

teaching Sunday school, 

getting involved in the church leadership,

putting together dramatic performances,

seamlessly linking her beliefs with 

her passions.

The small tributaries - 

her father's church,

her mother's church, 

her husband's family's church,

and finally her own church - 

all fed into something larger, 

unexpected, always changing.

A sacred place with gentle twists and turns.

God works that way.

Now at 90 years old

she gets up from her pew and walks

the familiar path up to the altar 

to receive the sacraments,

like she has, so many times before.

Perhaps when you 

grab the corners of your faith

and hold it next to someone else’s

it doesn't seem to measure up.

But to those who know her,

her faith is easy to see.

The questions make her uncomfortable.

They always have.

Still, she seems glad we asked.